When my husband and I first got married we moved into an apartment that was located at our schools college campus in Canada. Canada always seemed so beautiful to me and I loved living there. About three months into living in our new home I remember seeing one of those beautiful things I so dearly loved about living there. As I was looking out my window one day while doing my dishes I saw an eagle come land on a branch of a tree which was just outside my window. I caught a clear view of this majestic creature and I was in awe of its size. I felt blessed and honored to even be in its presence because its not every day you can gaze upon an eagle up so close. Your probably wondering what these beautiful creatures have anything to do with marriage. Well, it’s there commitment.
Believe it or not Eagles remain faithful to one mate for their entire lives! They remain monogamous to their partner till death do they part. Over the years as they build their nest/home the structure becomes their pride and joy. It also is what builds their bond between one another. Mating is not actually what connects them when they choose each other as a partner it is the nest that cements the bond between these two creatures together. This is a great example of commitment.
When my husband and I decided to get engaged one of the first things we talked about was commitment. Commitment was and still is something that is very important to us. Unfortunately society has the opposite mindset on this topic. Culture says, if your needs/wants are not met you have every right to leave your spouse/partner. Cultures says if your not happy GET OUT, do whats best for you! Culture’s selfish way of thinking draws people’s attention to the idea that divorce is an option for them. The sad truth is that when people get up to say their I do’s all they can think about is spending the rest of their life with each other but later down in their marriage when things get tough commitment seems only like a thing of the past. Divorce seems like a viable option, or the only way.
This honestly breaks my heart to see people who once were so in love leave one another when the trials in life sideline them. This not only breaks my husband and I’s heart but it breaks God’s heart. When two become one in the union of marriage God wants us to bring him glory through that union. He wants to use our marriages and relationships to point others to Jesus. I tell everyone who asks me about my marriage that God has to be your rock, not yourself, and not your spouse, but God. God can get you through every trial you face in life because its through his strength that we get through those things.
Right before Luke and I got married one of the things we discussed was the infamous D-Word (Divorce). We came to an agreement/understanding that the word divorce was to never come out of our mouths or off our tongues. This way it never even becomes an option for us. This puts a barrier up against Satan from using the D-Word as a foothold in our life. Satan is not allowed to separate what God has joined together. How can the D-Word become a foothold in one’s life? It’s simple. When we let divorce come out of our mouths in a heated argument or at the end of the rope kind of moment we will find that regret, guilt, pain, distrust, fear, and sorrow enter the relationship. The D-Word will fill your spouse with fear of being abandoned by the same person who once said “I Do.” The viscous cycle or reuse of that word could then be used over and over again in future arguments. Don’t say the D-Word!
We all know that marriage is hard work. We have to be committed to giving our all to our marriages and not giving up. Your not alone! I believe in a God who can mend the most broken of relationships and make them new. When he makes something new he not only changes things to come but he redeems and uses the past hurts and pains for his glory. How amazing is that! All we need to do is go to him. Isaiah 40:39 says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles ; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
*Disclaimer: I know many close friends and family members who have dealt with divorce. To those people I want to say I am sorry for the hurt and pain that you have gone through. There are some reasons when divorce to should be permissible. One reason: If you are in an abusive situation or your safety is in danger. Get help and never allow yourself to continually be in an situation where you fear for your own life. A second reason could be that you find your spouse is insisting on a divorce even though you yourself want to make things work. If they are absolutely not willing to make things work don’t go years without filling out the necessary legal documents. Another reason would be that a spouse has become sexually unfaithful to the other.