Luke and I both have learned in our marriage that the more time we spend with God the more changed we become. As we both seek God individually we become more confident in ourselves because we know why we were created. We were created for one purpose, to love God and enjoy him forever.
I remember the first time my husband came to me upset saying, “I can’t do it!” He was hurting because he thought he would never feel confident in front of people. He stressed over even thinking about approaching another person because he didn’t want to ever make someone feel “awkward.” He thought self-confidence was his greatest weakness but God wanted to transform his mindset. I had a dream a while back right when he first went into training to become a youth pastor after college. I call it “one of my God dreams.”
I remember it so vividly. I was about a mile away in a field, in the distance I looked across to see a wide-open plain in front of me. A gentle breeze brushed my hair off my shoulders and the grass grazed the bottom of my fingertips. The air filled my lungs and they felt full of the cool air. In the distance I saw a vast army but not an army that we would imagine up in our minds. When I usually think of war I think of fighting, destruction, and pain. Yet, this army was different. It was like a calm before a storm. Quiet and peaceful. There was a confidence that swept all the way across the land into these men’s hearts, this was their armor, the confidence of God. On beautiful white horses these men carried with them noble character that was built from knowing God/spending time with God and this is all they needed to carry with them, no weaponry of any kind. Then I remembered something catching my eye. The commander of this army looked familiar. It felt like someone I new for years and then I realized it was Luke.
When I woke up I automatically realized why God had put him in this position. It was his character. We often seem to imagine someone who was tough, cold, and fearless in a position of war but instead all God had for a qualification was that you know him deeply. If there is a man in this world that knows God deeply/richly it’s Luke. My husband spends time with God and the proof is his heart. He is patient, kind, and so loving to everyone he meets. I am truly honored to be his wife. I’ve realized through this dream that God-confidence is much more different than human confidence.
GOD CONFIDENCE: Even though Luke thought that his lack of self-confidence was one of his weaknesses God wanted to transform that. All he asked for in return was that he spent time with him to build his character. When Luke’s heart changed to be more in tuned with God (Still is Happening) his confidence went up. God was with him because Luke was with him, listening and leaning on him for insight.
HUMAN CONFIDENCE: This is when you lean only on yourself for strength. You don’t lean on God and you choose to try and fix whatever your dealing with on your own. This type of confidence will lead you on a path with a dead end. You will end up weary and lonely.
We can make it so far without God but eventually you will find yourself in need of a Savior. I can see Luke growing in his confidence tremendously and I am so thankful to God for it. The reason God sent this dream to me was so that I could encourage my husband to seek his Savior and he would find what he was looking for all along. God used me in my marriage with Luke to encourage him and he takes the opportunities to do the same for me. Remember to spend time with your Savior and look for the opportunities to spur your spouse on to seek God with all of your heart soul and mind. They will find what they’re looking for.
emilywilsonlife 